The Kingpin’s Super Bowl XLIII bash shook Uptown New Orleans so much during the action-packed 23-point fourth quarter, seismologists checked area Richter scales for seismic activity. Wild festivities lasting long after the game’s conclusion meant Big Daddy’s work productivity levels slowed to a halt Monday morning. This edition of Big Daddy’s Saints Beat pokes fun at Michael Phelps’ snafu, reviews the Bruce Springsteen’s halftime show, recaps the Super Bowl, assesses Super Bowl officiating, and releases his World Famous Pregame Information.
Who saw the tabloid, News of the World’s snapshot tainting the reputation of Michael Phelps? The Kodak moment captures the Associated Press’s 2008 male athlete of the year puffing the magic dragon. Since marijuana is not a banned out-of competition substance, what’s the poor guy supposed to do¾ swim for world peace? What people really care about is whether Captain Inhale loaded the bowl or depleted some poor sap’s stash. Considering corporations never destroy the environment or drive local businesses into bankruptcy, corporate executives ordered lawyers to find character disqualification clauses in Phelps’ contracts to avoid paying millions to the Beijing Olympic star. Americans respect big businesses’ enlightened and innovative decisions which boost the bottom line, helping everybody, because higher profits always trickle down, right? If Phelps wishes to rebuild his damaged credibility, he should seek help from an experienced internationally renowned celebrity like Ron Jeremy, who can teach young Michael valuable life lessons about restoring his image. Jeremy’s focus will show Phelps the long, hard path to redemption never comes quickly.
