Poor execution by the Saints Thursday night hampered any chances to steal a Music City victory long before Chase Daniel’s bad decision that ended the game. Saints players committed too many undisciplined penalties. Over-pursuit by Saints defenders created cut back lanes bigger than our national debt, and backup middle linebacker Marvin Mitchell’s pass coverage was softer than a S.O.L. old dude who’ s health insurance refuses to cover Viagra. In this week’s edition of the Section 645 Saints Beat, Big Daddy previews LSU and Tulane football for 2010, describes the action live from Kingpin, recaps the Tennessee preseason finale, forecasts the Saints 2010 regular season, questions NFL judgment, measures the economic penetration swallowed by French Quarter bars during Southern Decadence, critiques Harry Shearer’s new documentary “The Big Uneasy,” and releases his World Famous Pregame Information.
LSU and Tulane football booster expectations differ greatly. LSU fans demand contention for the SEC and BCS titles every year, while a winning season once a decade shocks and pleases Tulane supporters more than Rusty Griswold (character in National Lampoon’ s 1983 movie classic “ Vacation” ), when his cousin showed him a really neat trick involving a stack of nudie books. Big Daddy believes the Fighting Tigers possess enough talent to contend in the SEC West; however, Les Miles’ inability to properly prepare players for game situations happens far too often. Quarterback Jordan Jefferson’s regression embarrasses Louisiana worse than Miles’ eloquent press conferences. Hey Les, if Jefferson or Jarrod Lee can’t drive the bus— Get someone else! Big Daddy ponders whether a Discovery shuttle launch produces as much heat as Miles’ seat? He’d already be drawing unemployment if LSU hadn’t been the only two loss team to capture the bogus BCS title in 2007. After Saturday night’s mistake-riddled performance, and unless Miles stops looking like a deer caught in the headlights under pressure, expect LSU to suffer through another painful Fall, yielding an unacceptable 7-5 mark, forcing them to hop on the coaching carousel in search of a new skipper come 2011. Uptown, things are slightly brighter for the Green Wave. Tulane has more defensive depth, freshmen running back Orleans Darkwa who looks pretty good, and Ryan Griffin’s development under center shows continued improvement. Luck with injuries will determine Tulane’s fate in 2010, knowing the Greenies deserve a few breaks, a 6-6 record is within reach, which keeps Bob Toledo at the helm in 2011.
In the NFL Kingpin regulars welcomed a road contest for the final preseason game. Saints diehards screamed at the TVs like the regular season was in full swing. Although the Saints came up short Thursday night, there’s no place better equipped to soften the blow of a Saints loss than 1307 Lyons Street. Big Daddy relished chatting between plays with Kingpin proprietor Steve Watson (a New Orleans icon), running into Bob “Bobby Old School” Bolin, and hanging out with Uptown’s most eligible bachelor Brad Klamer, sure hope the Uptown ladies are ready.
The Tennessee game recap begins with the Saints receiving the opening kickoff quarterbacked by their veteran backup, Patrick Ramsey. Aided by a 39-yard pass interference penalty called on Titan cornerback Cortland Finnegan defending Robert Meachem, Garrett Hartley’s 45-yard field goal gave the Saints an early 3-0 edge. While Drew Brees had the night off, Titan starting signal caller Vince Young’s 7-yard touchdown pass to tight end Bo Scaife put Tennessee on top 7-3 after one. Junior Galette’s incredible display of athletic ability got the coaches and Saints fans’ attention by blocking Brett Kern’s punt. Former LSU linebacker Harry Coleman scooped up the loose ball and rumbled into the end zone to give the Saints a 10-7 advantage. Saints safety Usama Young’s boneheaded interference flag set up Rob Bironis’ 30-yard 3-pointer, tying the game 10-10. Titan 2nd string QB, Kerry Collins— formerly known as “Vodka Collins” when he wore Black ’ n’ Gold, engineered a solid 2-minute drill, and Bironas’ 26-yarder put Tennessee in front 13-10 at halftime. Chase Daniel came out of the bull pen in the second half to close the 2010 preseason to quarterback the Saints. Hartley’ s 30-yard boot knotted the affair 13-13 heading to the fourth. Last year’ s Oregon Duck punch-throwing specialist, now Titan rookie running back, LaGarrette Blount’s 1-yard plunge vaulted Tennessee into the lead 20-13. Hartley’ s 41-yard try squeezed just inside the right upright (surprisingly not reviewed— Thank you, Vegas) pulled the Saints a little closer at 20-16. Tennessee tailback, Alvin Pearman’ s 5-yard TD run stretched the lead to 27-16 with 3:18 remaining in regulation. Wide receiver Adrian Arrington and Chase Daniel only needed two pass plays to score: one pass for 31 yards, and their second 35-yard hook-up netted a touchdown. After Daniel hit Courtney Roby for a 2-point conversion, the Saints trailed 27-24 at the 2:25 mark. Coming down to the wire, the Saints faced a fourth down situation in Tennessee’ s red zone, Coach Sean Payton went for the win instead of overtime, but Daniel forced his throw intended for tight end Tyler Lorenzen, and linebacker Gerald McRath intercepted. McRath’s pick spoiled the Saints comeback efforts, and gave Tennessee an exciting 27-24 win.
Football experts around the country still find it much too hard to respect the Saints. Many predict that Atlanta will stop the Saints from repeating as NFC South Champions. NBC Commercials hyping Thursday’s NFL kickoff between Minnesota and New Orleans show only the Vikings’ plan to avenge their bitter NFL Championship loss last January. Just as in Super Bowl XLIV, the Saints will prove skeptical national prognosticators wrong. Even though they’re wearing a target on their back and facing a tougher road schedule with the unlikely prospect of equaling the amount of turnovers (39) as ’ 09, the Saints have more good players than any other team. Due to their impressive array of talent, expect the Saints to finish 12-4 and repeat as NFC South champs for the first time ever.
“The Big Uneasy,” Harry Shearer’s new documentary tells the world why New Orleans flooded after Hurricane Katrina. The movie shows data from the levee breaches that flooded Orleans and St. Bernard Parishes compiled by several renowned civil engineers: University of California, Berkley’ s Dr. Raymond Seed who did not appear on camera for fear of losing his job; Dr. Bob Bea, now considered by collogues to be an enemy of the United States, also from Berkeley; and Dr. Ivor van Heerdan, the former Director of the LSU Hurricane Center who was fired for insubordination along with his staff . Their findings uncovered the Army Corps of Engineers’ project design flaws coupled with substandard building materials, which doomed any chances of our levees standing up to Katrina’s storm surge. Other aspects of Shearer’s film include: Harry walking around town delivering his insights, how the Corps of Engineers destroyed miles of protective coastal wetlands to build the Mississippi River Gulf Outlet (Mr. GO), Army Corps whistle blower Maria Garzino documenting the Corps installation of new faulty pumps at the city’s three outflow canals (the pumps never passed a single stress test), round table discussions from prominent locals in Cafe Rani courtyard answering John Goodman’s sarcastic “Ask a New Orleanian” questions, and narrators Wendell Pierce and Brad Pitt exposing more upsetting Corps transgressions. Residents of Southeast Louisiana must either watch this movie or live in denial. If you think Big Daddy’s endorsement isn’t enough, then click on the following links: Hour 1, Hour 2, and Hour 3 to hear WWL radio talk show host Garland Robinette’s podcast from Aug. 31, 2010. Listen to what Garland thinks about “The Big Uneasy.” The entire three hour show only takes about 100 minutes without commercials.
NFL brass flexed their corporate muscles erecting an enormous stage on Decatur Street in Washington Artillery Park directly across from Jackson Square. The combination of the NFL’s mighty brand with the Crescent City’s most recognizable backdrop showcases New Orleans to the country as the mega budget concert marks pro football’s 2010 premiere. Similar to NFL’s mishap of thinking they could take ownership of “Who Dat” and the Fleur de Lis prior to Super Bowl XLIV, league officials violated local public trust, failing to communicate their intentions to the folks potentially affected by this year’s season-opening party. The NFL showed no regard for the livelihood of shop owners, carriage drivers, and artists located around Jackson Square being totally disrupted, and they never considered possible damage to historic Vieux Carre buildings stemming from the huge sound systems blasting excessively loud music. Naturally, NFL power brokers used the subtle Ben Roethlisberger (the one he employs to bag chicks) approach to get their way, because the show must go on. Too bad only VIP spectators (probably the same people who bought the new suite seats that exiled our friends at the top of the Dome) will be able to see the mammoth stage. Slated performances include Taylor Swift (not sure who that is), and Dave Matthews to commemorate the start of NFL football. Big Daddy thinks if NFL really wanted to promote the Big Easy, they would have invited Alan Toussaint, Fats Domino, or Dr. John to give the national audience true authenticity.
Early estimates indicated a record attendance for the this year’s 38th Southern Decadence celebration. Participants numbering over 100,000 swooped down on the French Quarter, pumping loads of cash into struggling Vieux Carre businesses. Thanks to British Petroleum’s negligence, the long, hot Summer really stagnated Big Easy tourism, which had steadily increased in months leading up Super Bowl XLIV and the days that followed until the Deep Water Horizon explosion. SD organizers deemed the 2010 theme “Leather and Feathers,” deciding on black, purple, and powder blue as the official colors. Grand Marshals, Toby LeFort and Julien Artessia guided the 37th annual Bourbon Street parade Sunday afternoon. Costumed revelers proudly displayed more skin than when Brittney Spears showed her fans that she finally matched the carpet to the drapes. Do you think the fellas will ever cover those hairy buns up? Not a chance, but one thing is certain, they will all be coming again next year.
Check out next week’s exciting edition of the Section 645 Saints Beat, when Big Daddy watches Dave Matthews’ pregame concert on TV, tailgates downtown, reports live from Section 645, recaps the huge Minnesota NFL season opener, and parties late night at the Kingpin. The arrival of September and football means the holidays are right around the corner, so if you want some cool stocking stuffers, type in : www.candlewithprayer.com, and order Saints prayer candles to gift to your family and friends. Researching football history, we might need divine intervention to Repeat Dat! Hey Saints fans just more thing, don’t forget Monday, Sept. 20 is the last day to purchase Saints Super Bowl raffle tickets supporting Gulf Coast Restoration. Simply log on to: www.celebritiesforcharity.org/raffle/Saints-Gulf-Coast-Renewal-Raffle, to be in that number. The guy who wins “The Ring” won’t pay gentlemen’s club cover charges ever again. Now Big Daddy releases his World Famous Pregame Information: — Take the Saints Minus 5 —
